On trying to do everything
struggles of shiny object syndrome
So all my life I know that I've "suffered" from some form of "shiny object syndrome" which you'll prolly quickly realize if you've ever seen my resume.
I am into mobile development, web development, designing stuff, branding stuff, strategizing stuff (these being the profesh ones), and also into brain-computer interfaces, binging neuroscience vids, reading a 600-page book on genes on new years eve, reading too much philosophy books & fetishizing Freudian or Jungian psychology (while overanalyzing every little thing), or coding weird blobs on a sunday in the name of code art.
Just trying to do everything and be everywhere all at once.
Like I am literally the guy who has three Chrome windows open with 42 research tabs in each, just short of getting to that stressful zone where you can’t see the icon on the tabs anymore.
Now it does have it has its obvious downside. And there were times in my life when this behaviour led me into situations that made me want to pull my head off and throw it into the trash. Just so desperately trying to somehow surgically remove this part of my personality.
But with time and copious scoops of cider ice cream I've soon come to realize and accept that this is just "who I am" and saying to myself "just deal with it". Also realizing that I'd prolly not gotten to this far in my career and life without this part of me.
Like if I am interested in something I just need to read about it. If I have a problem I just have to solve it. If I come across something difficult while working I just feel this need to master it (except for shoelaces which I did not know how to tie until I was 15). To just see how far I could go in these multiple directions.
Although this drive does leave you vulnerable to one thing, being in a situation where most of the time you aren't healthy enough to manage "it" (the "it" being the "hairfall" obviously) and always having that feeling of restlessness hovering over your entire existence and preventing you from being present or content in any one moment ever... other than that it's really not that much of an issue.
Fin.