On Grief
I loved this poem I came across recently:
And it got me thinking why is this man trying to throw his grief away in the first place? Cause if I think about it, nothing has shaped my life like grief has. I feel like sometimes when I experience grief/hurt/sadness I try to soothe myself into detachment from those feelings. But. But I don't need to protect myself from those feelings. Anything that can disrupt my peace, will. I don't even need to pretend it wouldn't hurt so bad. I'm human; I'll hurt. I'll experience the grief that comes along with the hurt that I've caused and the hurt that I feel. It's just a matter of what I choose to do with the grief. I don't need to sterlize devastation from my library of emotions. Devastate me, baby. I trust I'll know what to do. Well maybe not exactly at the instant but eventually I will. So yeah you know when people say: "when will you get over it" whatever that it is at that time in my life. My answer is: I hope I never. Up until now nothing has shaped my life more around lving and who+what matters to me most more than then how the reality of how short it all is. And how much I want to be me. while there is still time.
this song feels like a book you read when you were really young and think about all the time.