On If it's meant to be
I’m constantly torn between “if it’s meant to be, it will be” and “if I want it, I’ll go get it”…
You know how it goes – boy meets girl, girl meets boy, boy likes girl, girl likes boy, hanging out, deeper conversation, closer intimacy, boom they’re dating now. Everyone watching their relationship is in awe of how perfect it is. Everything is going accoding to the stupid plan. Some people even say “wow, it’s meant to be”.
One, two, ten years go by (or in my case just a few weeks apparently) – this “meant to be” couple makes the decision to separate.
What happened? I thought it was meant to be?
Idk man I used to dwell on this mentality (I think I still unfortunately do): “If it’s meant to be, it will be” or “True love has a way of coming back” or “Right person, wrong timing”… but if it was actually true love or meant to be, why did that one leave in the first place? I mean, isn’t there supposed to be some sort of holding on? understanding that we are not perfect hence make things work through it all?
Life really isn’t a bed of roses but what makes it seem okay to leave whenever you feel like things ain’t going your way and you hope some miracle will happen and somehow we’ll find our ways back?
It’s really difficult to tell how life works but one thing I know is, we have the power to make the choices in our lives and we can’t just rest on some assumption things will fall into place without putting in the necessary work. The thing I don’t like about the “Yeah but, if it’s supposed to happen, it will” is that at times, it’s straight up negligent. It ignores the fact a lot of our lives is within our control.
I think I’ve realised from all my past relationships that communication is important, but you must also know when to draw the line to stop explaining how you expect to be treated. Begging is unnecessary.
Some individuals do not treat or love you the way you want to, not because they do not understand, but because they refuse to. No matter how many times you ask people to value you or convince yourself that they will change, nothing will happen unless they choose to. You can voice your hurt and desires, but you can’t make them give you what you deserve. And this goes for you too: if you yourself find not giving someone what they deserve you should learn to walk away and let them go so that they meet someone that can one day...
I know that hurts a lot, but dear, you deserve so much more. Would you let yourself be stuck and do the same cycle again and again, when there are a lot of people in the future that are meant to love you? Would you let yourself be damaged again and again?
Always remember, whatever flows, flows. What goes away, let go. What comes, comes. What’s lost, let go. And what happens, accept. Better things come when you wait for what’s truly meant for you. Accepting things is better than forcing them. Never lose yourself trying to fit into someone else’s life.
When the right time comes and you meet “the one”, or the friends that are meant to love you genuinely, They’ll enter your life regardless of any obstacles. We all deserve to be happy in this lifetime. And if you feel you haven’t met them yet, just be patient. The universe might already be working to bring you together.
Remember, if it’s meant to be it will be but don’t let that stop you from taking action, taking risks, moving, forcing outcomes, going out there and getting what you want.