On Misunderstood

Hello.

I'm just ******* , like, stuck in this ridiculous, like, self-imposed ******* prison of characterization, you know?
It happened to me young.
It's like the chicken or the egg, I don't know what came first—
whether they said that I was emotional and intense and complicated, or whether I was truly complicated and intense and then they responded to it.
Then, like, once they responded to it, then I responded to what they were saying.
And, yeah, I utilized it in some ways.
And there's—I am embarrassed about that.
And that's what a lot of this is about.
I mean, I guess that's why I wanna document this thought here, because I don't wanna—I don't want to play the character anymore.
Like, I want to be whatever I am.
And my artistic output thus far, even who I am, when I am really ******* honest with myself, all feels ******* fraudulent. I feel like such an imposter.
And now for the first time, I'm doing something that is—
whether you like it or not, it really represents me.
And maybe that's ******* stupid, to want to be represented, to care—I don't care. Not that.
But I don't want to be—you know, think what you think about me.
Hate me or like me, just don't misunderstand me.
That's it.
Hello.

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