On Breaking Up
and the guilt that comes with it
I was having this conversation over a walk with somebody today. And we were talking about ‘endings’. And this guilt that’s associated with endings, especially if you’re the one ending it. Having experienced both sides atp I feel like... nah man you are not a terrible person for wanting to break up with someone you love. Fuck it, you don’t even need a reason to leave. Just wanting to leave is enough. Call me a hopeless romantic but to quote that lana del rey’s song (and no I am not a huge fan of her’s I just like that one album of hers):
If you're asking yourself, "How do you know?"
Then that's your answer, the answer is, "No"
You gotta run, run, run, run like your head's on fire
Run away like your head is on fire.
Cause yeah “when you know, you know”. If you’re questioning yourself if you "should or shouldn't leave" then that’s your answer... the answer is no. It's either a hell yeah or a no. And I get it, that might not be the answer you really wanna hear at time but leaving doesn’t mean you’re incapable of real love or that you’ll never love anyone else again. It doesn’t mean you’re morally bankrupt or psychologically demented or a nymphomaniac. It just means you wish to change the terms of one particular relationship. That’s all. You gotta be brave enough to break your own heart.
And yeah it’s not pretty if you’re on the other side experiencing that rejection too. But I remember this reel that popped up on my feed and I was quoting her then. It basically said how you should be with someone who wants to be with you. It’s not about taking that rejection personally. What someone likes or doesn’t like it isn’t a reflection of you. It’s a reflection of what works for them. And bruh... your job isn’t to fit into that; your job is to see how people love and choose wether or not that works for you. Not to try to get someone to like you.
Sometimes you have to be brave enough to close a chapter to start a new one, and if you are not, then you should thank the other person’s courage for doing it. Cause damn, it does take a lot of courage to break someone else’s heart let alone you own.
Don’t be afraid of ending. Endings are just the start of something new.
Fin.