On Her "Male Best Friends"

So I recently had this conversation a while back with someone and we were discussing our hot takes, and this take I mean, let’s just say... was quite an interesting take to me because I had never thought about it this way is that: guys are friends with girls they find hot and girls are friends with guys they find ugly.

When she first said it, I was like... nooooo. stfu. that can’t be true?! wait. wtf. i mean.... oh fuck. ok ok.... naaaa man this can’t be. fuck really?

But now that I think about it... yeah like in my past rels I have seen that to be true, can’t comment on the former but at least the part about girls, yes. Cause they all have these really good guys best friends, and I’m like “...yk why not? I mean he’s kinda sweet, caring, funny, drops you home and stuff...” And they’ll always have the same answer which is bascially a sugarcoated version of “he ugly” saying: “Yeah I don’t find him physically attractive” or the good ol’ “He’s just not my type.” Like, bitch please, we all know what that means.

And I sympathise with these guys dude, cause fuck I had been that same guy, done the same things once too. I think what it is, and I’m just gonna save my fellow ugo brothers out there is that girls are friends with guys that they think are “safe people”. Because everyone know what happens when a girl puts her guard down: a guy just like invades her boundaries and makes her feel uncomfortable. And I’m not proud of it, but yes I have been that guy too. So I think from that perspective, yeah I get it, you need your boys who keep you safe in like situations and all.

But again hot take, I think the guys these girls are friends with, are the most common person to come and tell her that they're actually in love with her. And every single time I said that would happen to them, it happened. And I’m like “Bihh why tf you acting so surprised?! I predicted that when we’re dating back then. my bro was just looking for that sweet sweet window to put his head in.”

And I think if the guy was hot, girls would be more like, "Okay, let’s date.” and dated them. But again hot take — I don’t think there’s any girl who’s ever been surprised when a guy friend tells her he likes her. They will fucking act like they are, and be like “Why would he say that?”. But I’m like come on! you can’t be this dumb? this dude has been picking you up, dropping you from every fucking place, booking you an ubers to my fucking house back then (lol which I ain’t gonna lie was funny), your text ratio with him is like 1:8, man is looking out for you and has pointed out how much of a red flag the guy you’re dating with is & how you should just break-up with him, and like he does what not for you, hasn’t dated anyone else... you know the type right.

Like you know the guy friend that’s not in love with you, and you know the guy friend that’s in love with you. Don’t act like you are surprised. I kinda get the frustation the of “fuck, don’t ruin my Uber rides” and “do I have to start booking ubers myself now?” but yes dear I think you might need to.

That’s something interesting that I have observed is that these guys will integrate themselves so much into her life and they make themselves so indispensable to her daily chores that for them it’s like "Who will take my otp now?”.

And I do empathise with them, it is kinda annoying when it happens because “why couldn’t you just not fall in love with me? I mean I get it, mai hu hi aisi, and I’m so lovable, cute, sexy, funny and my dressing style is like just wow. I get it, it’s hard not to eventually. they can try to resist, they try to... they all try to. but can't in the end.” I absolutely empathise, yeah, I think there have been moments (not as much as it is for girls tho. hard lives they have) through my life, moments when I’m like, "Why?" and I’m staring at the sky like, "Why? We had such a good thing going. It was such a nice friendship”

And yk you can tell when this guy is going to confess to you it’s either gonna be when they’re dropping you home. So you know you’re in their fucking vehicle, or you kinda feel you owed to them at that moment and they’ll be like "I have something to tell you." And then, they know that their pitch is enough to drop you till your house, and then you have to get out and think about it. But ow well at least they have the mercy that you can like can them on text after.

The other one, which I had the fortune to see it once live, is over text. Like this guy was texting her, and then yk you’re looking at them writing, deleting, writing, deleting, writing, deleting? So I’m sitting, laughing my ass off on the side “You know what bouta happen. Bro gon be taking his chance fs lessgo” and she was like “fuck, this is happening. no. no. how do I tell him not to? Like, I really don’t want this to happen."

It was so funny watching the whole thing go down ngl. Not for the guy tho, sympathies for my soldier. But this mf writes down a rap like long ass message. And I’m reading it and was like “Ngl this shit hard af bro... what’s his name? I should take some pointers from him.” And then I kid you not all she proceeds to do after it is just heart it and leave it on read for an hour. Brutal. Meanwhile we discussing "Okay, now what?"

And I’m like you know what you should do...? You should go on YouTube, and then you type your favorite rapper’s name. So you write like, "Kendrick type beat royalty-free," then play it, and then ask him to rap the song to the thing. And if it hits, then you let him hit. Only fair ...“Kay this is not fucking squirt games okay?”.

Anyhow if you’re reading this my boy AK. Firstly respect your game my brother. Secondly, if you do manage to get through, which I sincerely I hope you do, lemme tell you it’s only an uphill battle from there: you’d be fighting for even an cubic inch of territory on the bed against this mf who has been sleeping diagonally in her bed for three years. our blanket? no no. her blanket. and god forbid you took a sip of her pina colada. amen to you brother friend.

But yeah, male guy best friends. They are something man...

Yeh rishta kya kehlata hai,
Kay.

_#105