On I can fix her

A friend of mine sent me this beautiful blog on knots this morning and we were talking about our knots and all. In that piece, Ava (the author) used the term "knots" as a metaphor for all those very private struggles and self-conflicts that we goes through in life.

Now, the thing with these knots is that because I understand the way my knots feel, I can try and resolve my own, but thinking that we can resolve them for those we love is a strangely common dumb dumb idiot mistake that I accept I have made many times. No brother, you can’t “fix” her for her. Cause man we don’t know nothing of how tightly those knots sit for them, what push makes their grasp tighter, what pull makes them go loose, we are not the right people to tend to them.

And in that humbling realisation is also a meta revelation (I like that phrase ‘meta revelation’ idek what it exactly means) that “ok I cannot undo another people's knots for them.” That even if I really want to help, I can only help so much. And that sometimes, the best way to help someone is by not trying to help, but by simply being by their side, giving them company while they undo their own knots.

So maybe the next time a friend calls to rant, don't offer a solution or don’t attempt to “fix” the person you're dating. Or when you try to help someone with a solid piece of advice that ends up amounting to nothing, don't try again. Don't try harder. Let them take their time. You can only help so much. And sometimes you being there is all the help needed.

P.S. - I am thinking of getting of getting the PO-33 K.O sampler and messing around w/it. It is so cooool. If any of you have any experience with those teenage engineering pocket operators hmu!