On Quitting Dating
or atleast thinking about doing it
I'm just saying that I don't want to go through any of this anymore. With anyone. I want to buy a cat, or lease one, or do whatever it is that lonely people do these days. Call it quits. And that's what I don't get, because no matter how much I tell myself it's all useless and it's all a waste of time and energy, there just doesn't seem to be a way to stop myself from looking for the right person, the one. You know? In every relationship, or in that one ex... in every face on every escalator that's going up while I'm going down and wondering whether the right person for me just went by... was it her? should I try & get back? Aaaaaaaaa omfg this is so confusing!!
Why isn't there a fuse box somewhere that I can go peer at with a flashlight until I find the fuse with 'Heart' written underneath it and then throw that switch and let the rest of them keep humming merrily along and just, I don't know, opt out of the whole thing?
Yet I know I won’t. Even if I say I will, even if I say I want to quit, I will do this all over again. Like an absolute idiot, an absolute hopeless romantic ted-mosbified idiot and I can’t help it. I just can’t...
Hopelessly yours,
Kay.