On Silence
that has the potential of sounding
I like the idea of tension, a lot of tension in the place, and everything very silent. To try and exaggerate the kind of silence it has. To create the kind of silence that makes you wanna strain to hear something, anything... just to remember what sounds feels like. To make it even more silent than it is. More silent than silent. Then it has the potential of sounding. The kind in which you can hold conversations without uttering a single syllable.
In the silence, everything becomes meaningful, the finger twitching, eyes darting, the subtle shift of your weight from one foot to another, even the words forming and dying unpsoken on your lips, as they get dry with that tension. It almost starts to become self-consuming & addicting in a weird way. You become so hyper-aware of your own breathing, the insistent drumming of your heartbeat, that you want to quiet it, as if even that small sign of life was an intrusion. Each swallow starts to become a betrayal.
I find it absolutely fascinating how loud can silence be if you are in it, that crushing weight of the absolute quiet, that terrible terrible anticipation every moment of its eventual & inevitable breaking.
Fascinating. Absolutely fascinating.
And weirdly addicting?
ख़ामोश,
Kay.
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