On the small quite room
called acceptance
There will be times I will try and hold really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go... acceptance is a small quiet room. And sometimes while you're laying there, at rock bottom, there's something you realize. When you have to accept and move on, it's because there are no other options to exhaust.
I’ll never have answers to the questions that linger in my mind because there are no answers at this point, no matter how much I bang my head against that brick wall to the point where I'm brain dead exhausted and dizzy and bruised... but then you're like: "Ok the mystery wins, the ocean wins, the history wins. It's not my business to know right now." I think it's egotistical of me to continue demanding those answers. But there's something beautiful about finding out the limits to our comprehension.
Yeah I know that most things will be okay eventually... but not every thing will be. Sometimes I'll put up a good fight and I'll lose. There will be wounds from the fight, yes, sometimes even deep ones, but I am mistaken if I think it will fester forever. Wounds heal. Skin knits itself anew and if it does not well... then I'll learn to wear those scars like gold threaded constellations.
While it is hard sometimes to live in the world where there is no answer to "Why?". There is no way to make that person come back again. Some endings are just a mystery. There are times when there is no other answer. When your only choice is acceptance. There's also no way to rid yourself of your grief if it's there. So what is there left to do when you're so desperate to move forth but so compelled to hold on by that pain?
Acceptance is tomorrow. Even if the pain is still there, I realise it may always be, and somehow, that's okay. Tomorrow can be my small quiet room, I just have to take a step in there.
The small quite room.
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